We were eating dinner yesterday and Eric commented that the heart language of the couple sitting next to us wasn’t English. I wondered how he knew and he said they spoke another language when they prayed. There is something exquisite about the idea that each one of us has a language that transcends everyday communication and speaks directly to our hearts.
We’re coming up on one year of marriage now and most days, it seems very commonplace. Not being married seems like a distant memory and thus, I don’t really actively reflect on what it’s like to BE in this different state/status. Every now and then, though, I’ll hear a song or read a phrase written by a married woman and I’ll start tearing up. It’s like they are speaking heart-words to me that I didn’t even know I knew. In those moments, I am compelled to stop, take a deep breath, and give thanks for the depth of this love I am starting to know.
Oh, we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls, up the walls
Oh, nothing lasts forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls
Here we go, dancing on our own, inside this house that we have never known,
Here we go, going in alone into the dark and wonderful unknown, let us go, let us go
To some degree, thinking is a luxury that only people with leisure time have. The challenge is to remember not just to think about oneself but about God and the world.
Down with the shine, the perfect shine
That poisons the well, and ruins my mind
I get took for a ride every time
Down with the glistening shine
I love the idea of Ubuntu: that I am because you are. The more people I meet and talk to, the more I realize that at our core, we all desire to be known and loved by people we know and love.
I feel really grateful to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship for introducing me to the Jesus who cares about (and calls us to care about) the lost. I am also grateful for the conversations I’ve had with people who have chosen to leave the promise of wealth and upward mobility to live physically and spiritually in the Inner City. I have empathy and respect for the difficult conversations with parents who aren’t seeing their children to live out the “American Dream” they sacrificed so much to provide. I am thankful for my friends that have chosen to step bravely into that challenging space.
But sometimes, I wish there were more conversations for those of us called to live in ways that the world does recognize as success. The board-member, grant-giver, project-funder type. Or more specifically, that the conversations about the careers we’ve chosen wouldn’t make us feel guilty for making money and climbing ladders. Because I think that I still have a role in the Kingdom that is not passive or supportive. I need accountability to make sure my heart is right and I want to be able to ask for that without feeling ashamed of wealth.
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they make take hold of that which is truly life.” 1 Timothy 6:17-19
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here, but I am feeling an urge to write again. Lent is always a good time to pick up new, positive practices. So let’s give it a try.